I have been inspired by the lovely Belgian Waffle to muse over my privileged (or otherwise) background. She was inspired by various other people who are mentioned at the end of this post. Basically the idea is that you highlight in bold all the true statements….
1. Father went to college.
My father didn’t even finish secondary school. At about 11 his father was diagnosed with cancer. At roughly the same time (though it’s not much talked about) his mother was admitted to a psychiatric institution where she remained for about 2 or 3 years before they discovered that all her symptoms of madness were actually due to a brain tumour which they then removed leaving her relatively normal though with horrific epileptic fits. My father was apparently advised to appeal against his failing the 11 plus - on compassionate grounds - but his family had other things to think about at the time (like where my father would live; he ended up with his already-married sister in the council house opposite the one where he’d been born) and didn’t bother. His father died when he was in his mid-teens and he left school shortly afterwards and got a job as an errand boy in the waterboard. He’s the classic story of boy-made-good. My mother forced him suggested he go to adult education college where he obtained 3 CSE’s - Maths, English and Technical Drawing - and he then rose through the ranks and has been director or managing director of several engineering companies, headhunted from one to the other. I’m terribly proud of him - if that doesn’t sound patronising.
2.Father finished college.
3.Mother went to college.
My mother would, I think, have liked to do a degree. Her parents felt that educating a girl for anything other than teaching or nursing was a wate of time so she went to teacher training college and became a primary school teacher. In those days that wasn’t a degree course, simply a certificate. She was a very good teacher - though I rather think she would have relished the opportunity for wider horizons and more choices.
4.Mother finished college.
This isn’t America. Giving up college halfway through would have been anathema to my mother.
5. Have any relative who is an attorney, physician, or professor.
My aunt by marriage is a GP. None of my blood relations had ever been to university before me. My 3 maternal uncles all left school at 18, my mother went to college to do her teaching certificate, my maternal aunt had the equivalent of an HND. My 2 paternal aunts that I know (the 3rd was adopted when her parents became ill) gained no education beyond the very barest minimum. I was the first of the family to go to university but both my siblings followed as did most of my 14 cousins.
6. Were the same or higher class than your high school teachers.
Who defines class? By the time I hit high school my parents were definitely middle class. As, I guess, were most of my teachers.
7. Had more than 50 books in your childhood home.
8. Had more than 500 books in your childhood home
I’m guessing somewhere around 500. It’s hard to really envisage numbers. Given that I reckon we have about 1000 then I think as kids we probably had around 500, most of which were ours rather than my parents.
9. Were read children’s books by a parent.
Definitely. All the time.
10. Had lessons of any kind before you turned 18.
11.Had more than two kinds of lessons before you turned 18.
I had about a term of ballet but, depsite what my mother now says, I don’t think she really wanted us to do ballet and drama and things. I learned the piano from age 9 and the flute from 11.
12. The people in the media who dress and talk like me are portrayed positively.
Yes I guess so.
13. Had a credit card with your name on it before you turned 18.
No way. My parents would never have trusted me with one and they would have been absolutely justified in not doing so. I got my first credit card when I was about 24, already married for a couple of years, and I was utterly terrified of the whole concept.
14. Your parents (or a trust) paid for the majority of your college costs
My parents paid the whole of my first 4 years. This was less of a big thing then than it would be now. Wealthy (or relatively wealthy) parents were expected to cover the equivalent of a student grant and my parents did so. Fees were automatically paid by the state in those days. Even so I spent my first term’s grant in a month and my father came to the rescue; from then on I was paid monthly.
15. Your parents (or a trust) paid for all of your college costs
As soon as I got married, at the end of my 4th year with another 2 years to go, my parents stopped paying a penny. I actually respect them for that - though it meant fairly considerable financial hardship for 2 years. But I earnt about money and budgeting and real life and I’d like to think I’ll be able to teach my kids the same - perhaps without cutting them off quite so abruptly.
16. Went to a private high school
I grew up in a privileged county where we had high schools. I know that this isn’t necessarily a popular view but I passionately support selective education. I don’t believe I’d be where I am now without it. (Of course, there are lots of reasons to wish I wasn’t a GP right now but that’s neither here nor there….). I live in a part of the country now where we also have grammar/high schools. Without them - or if my children don’t get in - I would absolutely consider sending them privately, even if I have to work every evening and night (assuming of course, I’m not doing that as just part of my every-day job by then). But I’d rather the state grammar schools simply because I do think there’s more of a cross-section of society there.
17. Went to summer camp
No. Thank heaven.
18. Had a private tutor before you turned 18
I had a year or two of private physics coaching in the 6th form. I’m not sure it did any good.
19. Family vacations involved staying at hotels
Yes. Is this a privilege? We spent our childhood holidays in hotels patronised almost exclusively by the elderly where we charmed them with our ability to knit (oh yes) and be painfully polite.
20. Your clothing was all bought new before you turned 18.
Yes. I was the oldest sister and the oldest cousin. Ebay didn’t exist - not that my mother would have used it anyway - and charity shops were for displaying largesse rather than receiving it. My poor deprived children will not be able to say the same. (I went to a meeting at the Royal Free Hospital in Hampstead last week and returned with 2 Mini Boden items for Belle, a stunning H and M jacket for me, a pair of Diesel jeans for me and 2 designer tops for me for a mere £28. Hampstead charity shops rock). Actually though, the vast majority of my clothes were sewn or knitted for me by my mother or grandmother. Does that count?
21. Your parents bought you a car that was not a hand-me-down from them
As if. My first car was bought a year or so after we got married for £350. We sold it when it failed its MOT and bought another for £180.
22. There was original art in your house when you were a child.
No way. In fact no art at all. Maybe that’s why we’re so ridiculously excited by our recent art purchases in A Real Art Gallery. As opposed to Ikea posters.
23. You and your family lived in a single-family house.
24. Your parent(s) owned their own house or apartment before you left home
My parents never rented. They bought their first house when they got married in 1967. It was obviously a good time to buy as now they own a 6 bedroom, 4 bathroom house in one of the more expensive parts of England.
25. You had your own room as a child
I had my own room from about 14 when my father built an extra room on our house. Before that I shared with my sister.
26. You had a phone in your room before you turned 18
Uh. No.
27. Participated in a SAT/ACT prep course
Not even sure what that is.
28. Had your own TV in your room in high school.
No. My parents didn’t get a TV till years after I left home. My first living-with-a-TV experience was in my 2nd year at Uni when I rented a flat with friends. It wasn’t a financial thing though - my parents just disapproved of TV in general. They have one now but never watch it. We have a TV in our room now though we rarely use it except on weekend mornings when the children crawl into our bed. They will never have one in their rooms in my house. Over my dead body. Etc.
29. Owned a mutual fund or IRA in high school or college.
???!
30. Flew anywhere on a commercial airline before you turned 16.
We flew to Jersey from somewhere like Bournemouth when I was 14. It was utterly exciting. The next flight I took was when we suddenly decided to fly to Australia to visit my aunt and uncle when I was 17 - via Singapore and home via LA. Having never experienced any overseas travel at all it was rather bizarre.
31. Went on a cruise with your family.
Again - ????!
32. Went on more than one cruise with your family.
Well, no.
33. Your parents took you to museums and art galleries as you grew up.
They took us to museums. Not loads but they did. Mostly we went with school. My mother was terrified of the tube for some reason but we did come up to London every now and then. I don’t remember going to an art gallery before I came to London to go to University whereupon I discovered the Tate (which I loved) and the National (which I loathed).
34. You were unaware of how much heating bills were for your family
Hmm. I’m still kind of unaware. Is that bad? Seriously - money was never ever discussed as I was growing up. My mother still doesn’t know what my father earns. He doesn’t siphon it away - she gets to spend it all - but they don’t discuss it. Money is my dad’s responsibility. Somehow we’ve adopted the same model of hubby being the one responsible for the paying of the bills and keeping an eye on the accounts and shifting our utility providers around to get the best deals…. the difference being that I actually am informed of what’s going on and we do discuss it.
20/34. Semi-privileged I guess.
*The original authors of this exercise are Will Barratt, Meagan Cahill, Angie Carlen, Minnette Huck, Drew Lurker, and Stacy Ploskonka at Illinois State University. If you participate, they ask that you PLEASE acknowledge their copyright.
